Yesterday, and still today, I find my heart and mind turning to Eugene Peterson’s observation regarding prayer:
“We get more interested in ourselves than in God … We get bewildered by the huge discrepancies between our feelings and our intentions; we get unsettled by moralistic accusations that call into question our worthiness to even engage in prayer”.[1]
Upon reading and rereading these words, I sigh: “Amen.” I do not know whether you recognize in Peterson’s words your own experience, but I recognize my experience. Too often I realize that my prayer life is far too narrow; too often I pray regarding those issues, those relationships central to my life – with me at the center. This centering then opens the door, ever so slightly, to a rehearsal of those grievances I seem to clutch, or those failures, which render me immobilized. Thus this form of prayer becomes an exercise in reawakening anxieties, or of raking the coals of anger; but I doubt that this form of prayer is the experience our Lord advocated. In fact, it’s probably not prayer at all, even though it might culminate in these words: “Lord, help me with my fear and anger …”
Now I do not doubt that He will help me with these emotional responses to scenes now past – and I’m fully aware of the irony of my critiquing my own prayers and once again centering upon me – but surely He would rather I focus upon those devastated by Hurricanes Harvey and Irma; surely drought in Africa or sex-trafficking in Southeast Asia or the impoverishment of North Koreans, in order to fuel Kim Yong-un’s ambitions, are more central to our Lord’s concern, than my internal wrangling. Surely.
In Matthew 6:8 Jesus first encouraged His disciples to recognize: “[Your] Father knows what you need before you ask Him”, and therefore, I might add, He knows your/ my emotional state and those past moments of pain and/or failure. He knows, because He was present – and with such a recognition on my/ our part, it is then apropos to begin in prayer: “Our Father in Heaven, let your Name be holy; let your Kingdom come; let your will be as in Heaven also upon the earth.” (My translation.)
If you are as I am, may we center upon the majesty of His character, the ultimate establishment of His Kingdom, and the goodness of His will.
Faithfully,
Stan
[1] Foreword to P.T. Forsyth, The Soul of Prayer (Vancouver, B.C.: A Regent College Reprint, 1995), pp.3-5.