Dear one,
“Tension” … for many years I have understood this word positively—for me not unrelated to the word “balance” or “dialectic.” Perhaps more concretely, I have viewed “tension” as the means by which we experience bodily movement. Most assuredly I am not a physiologist, but it occurs to me that, for our arms and legs to move, one set of muscles relaxes while another set tenses. To move, to be active, to be alive in some sense requires tension, but of course that tension must be offset or counterbalanced, or otherwise irreparable, physical harm might result.
As you well know, within our American culture the word “tension” often bears a negative connotation: thus we speak of “a tension headache” or of “a room filled with tension,” and regularly associate it with “stress” and “anxiety.” In this regard it is often experienced as debilitating, a near-neighbor to fear and a far-distant-cousin to peace and harmony.
Now I share these thoughts with you, because I have gratefully received several responses to my recent blogs. In those blogs perhaps I wrongly assumed or poorly expressed a living tension.
For instance, in my last blog to you, I questioned: “[Will] I trust that my few hours of time and travel [in Uganda] will make a difference—more than a drop in an ocean of need?” Given this question, I received several wonderful responses essentially encouraging: “Yes! Whatever you say and do our Lord can and will use.” To these affirmations I readily concurred: “Thank you. I believe you are right.” But then with thought but not as a negation, I recognized the tension I often feel, a tension Paul expressed when he wrote:
“[Work] out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure” (Philippians 2:12-13).
By his words, Paul expressed that mysterious tension between my limited, temporal will and God’s sovereign, eternal will—both operative, neither canceling the other. If I so emphasize my actions, my obedience, my trust to the exclusion of His life-giving will, then I will become subject to doubt and despair; likewise, if I so emphasize His sovereign pleasure at the exclusion of my personal responsibilities and failings, then I am rendered a puppet, prone to view life through Pollyanna lenses. However, with balance arise freedom and joy.
Tension: I am grateful for those, who help me maintain a faith-filled balance, particularly when I see the glass as less than half-full.
Peacefully tense,
Stan