Today I have been very aware that my efforts to insure a relatively easy departure to Malawi next Thursday, October 19, will not be realized. That is, it had been my hope to have the rewrite and editing of The Sent One fully complete, in order that next Thursday I might bear 100 copies of the book with me. However, the editing process has taken much longer than I’d anticipated (even given the burning of late-night oil); and so today, when it became certain that at least one edit was necessary, and that the publisher could not ship the books by the time of my departure, for a moment I slackened my pace.
As I have considered my push to have the books ready for shipping by next week, two thoughts have surfaced: First, my expectations, even if unrealistic, were nonetheless the expectations of an American. No Malawian, and probably many millions throughout the world, would expect to accomplish what I sought to do; but given our American culture, and given the speed with which the Internet allows us to function, my expectations were not horribly vain. One of the signs of our affluence is our “reasonable” expectation to accomplish in two weeks what others might reasonably expect to achieve in eight.
My second thought was a mixed assurance: “Be still and know that I am God.” On the one hand, as I’ve pushed to finalize preparations, now knowing that Plan A won’t work, I nonetheless can rest in our Lord’s sovereignty, recognizing that Plan B exists: transporting 100 binders with the necessary materials (which of course is another sign of the resources so readily available to us). Plan B is very workable, and not a defeat. God is God.
However, with that reminder from Psalm 46: “Be still,” I was also reminded that those were the very words, which allowed me to endure my bout with kidney stones last August, 2016. You might recall that, upon that occasion, I unsuccessfully sought to pass at least one kidney stone – and yet, through that experience I knew of our Lord’s gracious sovereignty. His people, through the leadership of Kaning’a CCAP (Church of Central Africa: Presbyterian), cared for me wonderfully.
In some regards, I do well to heed the words of Soren Kierkegaard: “Teach me, O God, not to torture myself, not to make a martyr out of myself through stifling reflection [and hyper-activity], but rather teach me to breathe deeply in faith.”
Faithfully,
Stan